why am i so insecure?

As one stumbles headfirst into the battlefield of insecurity, the roots jabbed within the ground present itself rugged and depart once the injurious bruises mark itself upon the person and leave them with a sentiment unmovable from their heart. The roots’ formulating insecurity is an internal dialogue that occupies our sentiments of insecurity; often called the “critical inner voice.” When we endure distressing early encounters in life in which we have witnessed, experienced, or nudged across harmful opinions toward us or our neighbors adjoining us, we tend to develop and unify this mold of injurious feelings toward ourselves, our family, and others around us. The experiences we share with influential caregivers early on in life morph this critical inner circle. For instance, a child experiencing being yelled at by a parent presents to them an unhealthy viewpoint of themselves, whether for something they didn’t do accurately, or their parent perceives as “unfit” and “unproductive” in their viewpoint.

However, a healthy attitude for parents to adopt for their children is to view them in a realistic perspective, treat them with compassion and acceptance, and moreover, supply them with support. However, studies have shown that even exaggerated praise and applause can be destructive to a child’s self-esteem, so, a parent must discover the best method to support their children with the cease of affecting their self-esteem greatly.

How Can I Overcome Insecurity? –

When we, as the bare and uncladded humans we are, begin to integrate an improved comprehension of where our insecurity emerges from, when our insecurity arises, and how our insecurity developed, and essentially, the immense effect it has upon our lives, we will soon possess the capability to combat it. One pronounced dawning would be interrupting the critical inner voice ramming itself upon us. Here I’ll give you five steps to overcoming the critical inner voice within your head and impelling back your sense of productivity through the process of self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-value:

Step I – Vocalize your self-critical thoughts in second person point of view -

When attempting to overcome the critical inner voice ambushing you, one must firstly be ginger when scrutinizing their thoughts. As when a negative thought, belief, or conception formulates itself, and creeps swiftly around or approaches the corner in which your inner voice nestles, the beneficial proposal would be to vocalize the self-destructive thoughts in the second person and additionally write down these thoughts. When successive thoughts such as “I am so ugly. Why is everyone much prettier than me? I’ll never be able to maintain a relationship with anyone,” you would write those thoughts within a second person viewpoint, “You are so ugly. You’ll never be able to maintain a relationship with anyone.” This proposal assists you in detaching yourself from these destructive attacks by viewing them as an external antagonist instead of an internal sensation.

Step II – Stop, think, and explore the reasoning sheltered behind your thoughts –

After one has drifted astray from the first approach with the completion of its advice, they’ll soon need to stop themselves in their tracks, begin to think with varied and accurate reasoning as to why, when, and how such thoughts have transpires to their head, and explore such logicality behind it. For instance, do these destructive thoughts fetch upon reminders of someone or something from the past? It is useful to unearth the association between these inner voice battles and the early encounters in life that aided in morphing them.

Step III – Challenge the inner criticism -

This third step involves manufacturing a plan to modify these behaviors. For myriads of those residing within our generation of youth, even those who are departing or have already begun their departure from the path of adolescence, insecurity is a solitary issue that steers upon many obstacles. For instance, insecurity has kept people from running after a well-deserved promotion at their occupation, asking someone on a date, or even asking their child for a date in which they could relax, hang out, or simply strengthen their bond together. If one continues to indulge in self-damaging thoughts that persuade them to engage in self-destructive behaviors, it will trail them to a path of incessant self-destruction. Instead of abiding by these inner beliefs, one must snare their lone jurisdiction of action and proceed along with their objective even when the outcome is undetermined and frightening.

Step IV – Form a connection within the origins of your inner critic –

In approach five, you’ll dive cavernously into the origins of your inner critic and devise connections within it. For example, one could begin off by devising a connection between how the inner criticism they are obliged to tackle impacts their present-day actions, behaviors, and path of self-improvement. How could this inner critic be affecting them with their partner? Their behavior, attitudes, and actions at work? As a parent, sibling, or child? Do these critical thoughts weaken them? What experiences have ushered upon them as triggering the most insecurity?

Step V – Exchange the negative with some positivity –

The new divergence from a pessimistic self-talk can yield challenging obstacles and furnish difficulties in departure from it. As humans, we are prone to a broad deficiency of self-respect and this position is most pronounced as we approach occurrences in which the situation won’t allow us permission to believe the affirmations given to us from others or ourselves. Incorporating positive self-talk is crucial in altering our methods of thinking and overcoming a cynical thought process.

Repetition of an encouraging, accurate thought is of great importance. As one repeats a lone encouragement or affirmative speech to themselves, they will gradually sprout their roots governing its seed from the greenery and discover a need to do it less and less often.

Conclusion –

As you roam your way through this tumultuous wave across the ocean, stumble your legs upon the mammoth hilltops of a mountain, and sweat vigorously through this gritty but tremendously virtuous transition through life, it is significant to nurture yourself with the daily reminders of your improvement, growth, and worth throughout this battle. In addition to such, encompassing yourself with positive influences, departing from negative self-talk, and practicing limitations of negativity, you will unleash the authentic, irrefutable portion of yourself. The spectacle within you will shine.

Yours Truly,

Dear Youth Global,

Sanyia Myh'Dhanaeh